Grief Counseling?
by Rondi Lightmark, M.A.
It depends. Grieving is a highly individual process.
Some days, you may feel like you are coping pretty well.
Other days, you may struggle with guilt, obsessions, unanswered questions, and fears that you will never stop crying and get your life back together.
Recent research shows that, in a good number of cases, certain kinds of grief counseling can actually prolong the pain and suffering, if it is too intrusive and goes on too long. In other words, sometimes there’s too much of a good thing.
In my own experience, some people in grief often have just one or two questions that are keeping them from finding peace and acceptance. When those are answered, they do well working the rest out on their own.
Other people need more support, sometimes as long as a few weeks or months, to a year. A key factor often has to do with how the loss occurred.
This is not to say, however, that one should get over grief as soon as possible. I’m a strong advocate of honoring and not rushing the grieving process, because it is a profound life change and the rest of your life will depend on how well you take care of yourself during your journey to healing.
Here are ten reasons why you might want to spend some time with a counselor:
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1. You want to understand better about death and what happened to your loved one.
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2. Your support system has moved on and you’re still struggling.
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3. You can’t function, are losing sleep, crying every day, or having bad dreams.
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4. Your health is breaking down.
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5. You are filled with guilt and worry.
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6. You have been having dreams or the sense that your loved one is near and wonder about life after death.
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7. You are sad because you haven’t felt the presence of your loved one.
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8. You need advice about how to help a grieving family member, a friend, or a child.
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9. You feel angry, abandoned, or overwhelmed.
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10. You want help figuring out how to share your experiences and find ways to integrate your loss through personal creativity.
Counseling services can usually be found through your local hospice organization, church, or health clinic. There are many books and websites devoted to sharing knowledge and stories of loss that can also be very helpful; some of these can be found on my links page.
You are also very welcome to contact me for phone counseling; click here for details.
